The Labrador school of thought

How to spot a Labrador
Watch out for the sparkly eyes, neurotic explosions of excitement... high pitched hellos and wagging tails, lots of kisses…and the obsessive need to do things for people even if they don’t want you to…incredibly large capacities to care…a bleeding heart…integrity, generosity ... a self destructive streak ...drawn to needy and selfish people of the opposite sex ...cant spot the use and abuse types from a mile …and finally, a shiny coat and teeth …. Gotta love those Labradors. Though there some dire down sides…like the kamakazie / Joan of arc streaks, gold fish memories, way too much optimism and the occassional 'thick' moments...we just don’t ‘get it’ when we’re being treated badly…kick us and we’ll forget in a day or two, so you can do it again…it wont seem so bad by then,…The up sides of this…we tend to stay pretty trim because we shed the weight when we’re upset and that happens most of the time and we look like Dalmatians every now and again because of the bad skin that’s usually a result of a kicking…

The 5 step process to growing a brain…

Step 1 - Realize that your pretty darn great no matter what people say, stop believing them for a start, very few people know you from Adam and the one’s who do would know how fabulous you are! Appreciate yourself a bit more…give yourself a pat on the back for all the times you’ve made someone happy…you’ll be amazed at how much you’re appreciated…get that nose out of the pavement and look around you!!

Step 2 – R-E-S-P-E-C-T
The lady knew what she was talking about! Respect Girl friend! You deserve it and you need to make sure you have tons of it! What exactly do you get from the relationship you’re in? Does he give you what you want to make you happy? Does he realize how lucky he is to have you? Because if he does then he’ll treat you the way you deserve to be. I know playing hard to get makes no sense what so ever and seems like a pointless waste of time, but the unfortunate truth is that treating them mean keeps them keen…circular logic ..But it works! Don’t go crawling back when you get the kick in the butt, you don’t deserve, if you do deserve it, then take it like a (she) man!

Step 3- Love yourself…because if you don’t start loving yourself, there’s no way in hell you’ll be able to love or help anyone else…that’s a fate worse than death, I know! Spa heaven is the first step!!

Step 4 - Focus on you…you’ll be amazed at how much talent you have and at stuff you’d never imagine…try new things, it’ll kill the silly thoughts, fill the pauses and the downers that sometimes creep up unnoticed..You just won’t have the time for self pity or obsessive compulsive behavior, rebounds, moping, hermit tendencies, sleeping sicknesses, anorexia, chocolate / shopping / Ben and Jerry’s therapy and other total wastes of time

Step 5 - Stay away from trouble, learn to say ‘no…its ok …no one’s gonna die …really. Run a mile when you see…Italians (lol!), anorexic twiglets, lecherous married men, manic depressants, negativity, full fat and …..dog catchers