Pray, Love, Eat (in that order)

Eat, pray, love….God knows I’m trying! The latter bit I mean…I watched the celluloid incarnation of the book last night. I’ve been meaning to watch it for a while and finally went and bought the DVD yesterday because it was one of those really rubbish days where I needed a couple of hours of wallowing in self pity. There used to be a time when wallowing in self-pity meant working my ass off in the gym…but these days…oh no! Its all about eating a fun size bag of crisps. Throw in a diet coke or two and I’m in heart attack heaven!
While Julia Roberts looks fantastic, I thought it was a far cry from the book. The transformation from neurosis to calm takes an entire box set; a two-hour movie just doesn’t cut it. In spite of everything it did the trick. Here I am, writing my blog after what seems an eternity, clearly I’m still a bit rusty since the self pity isn’t flowing like it used to. Guess that’s what happens when you’re really low on angst, not the work kind but the personal kind. My job is still the Bain of my existence but life’s pretty good…when I take a break from navel gazing that is. Oh yes I bought the sound track for the movie too in addition to the book and the DVD. The only thing left to buy is the T-shirt and a one way ticket to Bali
So what was it I could relate to? Apart from the wanderlust, it’s the depiction of her need for closure that got me. Does closure equate selfishness? Is it Ok to relegate someone to the back of your mind because you’re unable to give him or her a front row seat? Its not because you don’t care its because you don’t want to care or you’ll never be able to move on or even stay stationary and give it your best. The older you get the harder you become. Survival of the fittest takes on a completely new meaning.
Which brings me to my next point. The art of tolerating…some say you get what you give but sometimes you take what you get. Is it worth it? I honestly don’t know. It’s more like (in marketing speak), what your objectives are. There are some who are focused on having the kids – so anyone with a decent gene pool and sperm count will do; then there’s the liberals looking for sex on tap; there’s many a puppy (younger man) more than happy to oblige. Finally the third and most common, those of us who’re looking for an illusion aka soul mate. Doesn’t exist ladies! Wake up and smell the coffee! Except perhaps if you’re Julia Roberts playing Elizabeth Gilbert. Maybe she also settles for the what she gets, not much choice I’d imagine if you’re stuck on a remote island in the middle of bum fuck.
Let me know what you think of the sequel to Eat, Pray, love. Its called ‘’committed’’ or as I fondly call it (and this is an Indianism) “Admitted”*

*Sectioned

PS - I love you

I read a really interesting article the other day about mother / daughter relationships …the woman you love to hate… or something like that. Can’t remember the exact title but I’m sure you can get the gist of it. We love our mom’s in our mid-20’s onwards and hate them with equal intensity in our teens. Natural order of things…and not one of my many idiosyncrasies…

New beginnings….
I want to write about my mom, aka, affectionately called manna (from heaven) by friends and family. She’s just about to embark on a journey, a journey that’s taken a lot of courage, fortitude and kamikaze instincts to persue. No, she’s not having a baby girl; my mum is going back to college! The clocks ticking, she’s starting her masters in Women’s studies at Rice University in the US of A on the 4th of January 2010. One small step for mom and a giant leap for mother kind in their mid-50’s. Life’s not over mommies, its just beginning! You can be who you want to be, when you want and where you want to be..Take a leaf out of my mum’s book.

Its been a hard decision for her to make, imagine up-rooting yourself, moving to a new country, learning how to use Windows 7, making friends all over again, leaving your comfort zone behind and all this , alone… I’m so proud of you mom!

Mum’s who stare at goats…
Forget about telepathic viewing and the new earth army...Enter the mom squad...Mum’s with daughters are probably the best equipped to face anything, maybe there should be a training course for the special forces run by mum’s on how to attack and torture without killing, drawing confessions with a single killer look… titled how to survive raging psycho’s..

A well deserved bollocking…
Creeping back home at all hours of the night and seeing the living room lights on…Oh! Oh!...you know what that meant..Make sure clothes are in place, mints in the mouth, traces of anything incriminating (and boy in those days everything was) are removed…defiance in place…ok, lets face the music… God, how I hated the calls demanding when I was going to get home…cut to 2006, Arshia stressing because Guillaume hasn’t called to tell her he’s ok.
I tend to forget sometimes that I don’t know best…and I’m so glad my mum keeps reminding me that my 30 something years of ‘living’ is nothing compared to 50 plus years of ‘experiencing’ ..
I guess we’ve finally reached an age where we listen and not hear them out, and it amazes me how she knows everything I’ve been up to, even though I thought I was being oh so subtle and smart …ha,ha,ha…another lesson learned. Mum’s are all knowing and all seeing…The pieces of mind (advice) I got the other night are probably worth months of therapy and strips of Prozac.Thanks mom for saving the UK Govt a fortune in health care! You deserve a purple cross for that.

John of arc
Courage, fortitude, integrity and humour….Few of the many things I’ve learnt from my mommy…after raising two girls and a boy plus umpteen moody dogs. Add masochism to the list and you’ve just described my brother…who I’m so proud to say is one of the most solid and dependable people on earth, no surprises after growing up in a family of girls and having to survive the tears, screaming matches and PMS. Then he goes and buys himself a female puppy after all that …martyr…hmmm…perhaps.

Deportation…
My cousin Farah and I were not easy girls to raise...my brother, well he's always been pretty low maintenance and I like to think he benefited from being ignored. If you’ve read my blog, I guess you can imagine that I’m not the most simple of people. Add rebellion, individualism and self-destructive instincts to that…welcome to my life! Which is probably why I got expelled from college and then subsequently deported to the UK by my mum. That must have been the hardest decision to make, because it could have gone either way…imagine sending a rather de-ranged teen away to a country where’s she’s totally unsupervised, where everything is allowed and that to, to persue an education…Did I mention my mum’s a gambler too? That’s probably what saved my life….and thank you mum for that and all the times you bailed me out financially…

Awards and rewards..
Cut to 1996…my mum’s been nominated business woman of the year! There we are, my brother and I, at the awards ceremony in New Delhi, watching my mum receiving her award from the chief minister of the state. What a proud moment…and there have been so many of those mom. You are an inspiration and my bench mark in everything I do…Cut to 2006, Arshia receives an award for a campaign, and all she can think of is, I hope I’ve made my mom proud!

Escapism 1.1
My mom loves doing cross words…maybe all mom’s love doing cross words. Perhaps its got something to do with having that one hour to yourself, when its ok to be dead to the world, including complaining kids…Escapism 1.1

Phone bills from hell…
Note to self…install skype on every computer in the house, when you have brats of your own. Remember hours of clinging on to the phone whispering sweet nothings to boy friends or gossiping with girl friend who you’ve met an hour ago and spent the whole day with? Guess who foot the bill? and spent hours trying to get through becasue there was just one phone line in the house...Remember phone calls from every part of the world asking mom to call back so you can have a long rant, melt down or spend hours silent just becasue you don't 'feel' like talking? God shoot the person who invented ‘collect calls’ and yes I do believe in karma. It is going to come back to bite me in the ass, I can almost feel the teeth marks...

Learning to like ‘alone’
I can think back to my mum watching TV eating dinner by herself when the prodigal child returns from a night out in the town, even though she’s just back for a couple of weeks of vacation…I guess its not hard when you’ve been alone for so long, because the most important thing in your life are making sure your children are ok and that’s all that’s ever mattered over and above all else. Thank you mum for teaching me generosity…and you have so much of that…

I can go on forever, the list if endless, so many memories and so much more to look forward to. All I want to say to my mum and mum’s everywhere is that we love you and respect you for everything you are…, there are times that you’ve felt like you could have done things differently, but look around you, your children are a tribute to you, all we aspire to is to be like you…

Good luck mummy! Make me proud yet again!